


Shattered

by Aureolum



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Accident, Alcohol, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Boy x boy, Cutting, Death, Drugs, F/F, F/M, Fatal accident, Haikyuu - Freeform, KageHina - Freeform, M/M, Minor Character Death, Side Ships, Suicidal Hinata, Tsukiyama - Freeform, Wrists, daisuga - Freeform, depressed hinata, kiyoyachi - Freeform, under age drinking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-04
Updated: 2017-03-04
Packaged: 2018-09-28 08:21:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,377
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10081256
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aureolum/pseuds/Aureolum
Summary: --After the death of Hinata's mother, he becomes extremely depressed and begins to take part in illegal activities. Will Kageyama be able to help him overcome this hurdle and be happy?DISCONTINUED





	1. Chapter 1

_The thought of his mother being killed while grocery shopping had never occurred to the ginger haired boy. Neither had it crossed his father or younger siblings mind once. But it happened. A terrible accident. Maybe it could have been prevented but there was no use for worry now. For she was already gone._

Hinata laced his shoes and adjusted his fiery locks. Today he was going to Nishinoya's birthday party. Everyone had been talking about it, although not all things said sounded like good things for Hinata to participate in. Nevertheless, Hinata was pumped for it. He looked forward to this party as it was his first highschool party. There was going to be older people there and Hinata was going to try his best to impress them. He didn't believe he was much to look at but that wasn't important to him, he wanted them to like him for his personality and behaviour, whether that be good or bad.

He reached down beside him to pick up Nishinoya's birthday card. It contained some money and a nice message. He hoped Nishinoya wouldn't mind.  
"Shouyou! I'll be leaving soon to go get the groceries and dinner. What would you like?" called his mother.  
"Oh...well, I was planning on staying at Nishinoya's the night. That's what the others are doing." He replied.  
"Oh I see. Well text me what you have decided to do tonight, I can pick you up if you want to."  
"No I'll be fine mum, there is no need to worry." Hinata smiled at his mothers protectiveness over him. He was lucky to have such a brilliant mother. She was kind, caring, trustworthy and she understood how Hinata was feeling and what he was thinking.

"Oniii-chaan! Can a have a hug before you goooo?" Natsu wailed.  
"Of course." He smiled.  
Natsu giggled as her brother wrapped his arms around her small frame. She pecked him on the cheek before he placed her back onto the ground.  
"Bye-bye Natsu, don't have too much fun with out me!" Hinata laughed.  
"Can we play dollies when you come home Oni-chan?"  
"Sure."  
"I'll be going now mum! I love you!"  
"Bye Shouyou, have fun and be careful!" She answered from the kitchen while she was prepared Natsu's afternoon snack. With that, Hinata exited his house, grabbed his bike and began to ride to his friends house.

When Hinata got there, plenty of guests had arrived. _Did Nishinoya really have this many friends?_  
There sure was a lot of people there, and there was still more to come.  
"Oi Hinata! Glad you could make it!"  
He felt someone give him a friendly slap on the back as they greeted him. He turned to see Nishinoya behind him, some older girls floating by his side. Who are they? He smelt something unfamiliar. It was odd...and it certainly wasn't nice. That's when it hit him. _Alcohol. Those girls. They've been drinking, and by their scent, far too much._  
"Heyy pretty booyyy." One of them cooed,  
"What's your name cutie?" The other asked.  
Hinata's face was dusted with pink as he managed a squeaky reply,  
"H-Hinata. Hinata Shouyou."  
"Nicce name suunshhinee." The girl slurred,  
"Come round to Nishinoya's room later." She winked before stumbling away with her drunken friend.  
"Don't worry Hinata, she's just been drinking a bit much." Nishinoya assured him.  
"U-uh Nishinoya...aren't we a bit young to be drinking alcohol?"  
"Pfft, nah it's fine. No one has to know anyway." Nishinoya smiled mischievously.  
"I think I saw Yamaguchi and Kageyama outside at the bonfire if you want to hang out with them." Nishinoya suggested,  
"I'm pretty sure that some Nekoma people might be here as well as Aoba Johsai people. We might have a volleyball tournament while we're at it."  
"Hopefully Kenma is here too." Hinata smiled before going to find his other friends.

He found Kuroo, Bokuto, Tsukishima, Yamaguchi, Kageyama and some other people Hinata couldn't recognise by the scorching bonfire.  
"Hey guys!" He called.  
"Hey Dumbass." Kageyama replied.  
"Hey." Yamaguchi smiled.  
Bokuto and Kuroo gave him a wave while Tsukishima muttered something under his breath.  
Kuroo held a cup that contained beer while Bokuto and Tsukishima had coke mixed with vodka.  
"Are you drinking too Tsukki?" Hinata asked.  
"I thought I told you not to call me that you arse hole. And yes I am, it's actually pretty good." Tsukishima said in a matter-of-factly tone.  
"Oh..sorry."  
A soft voice  greeted Hinata,  
"Hey Shouyou."  
Kenma stood beside Kuroo (well more like behind as if he was hiding from everyone else attending the party).  
"Oh hey Kenma! How have you been?" Hinata asked as he approached the shy boy.  
"Good thanks. Yourself?"  
"Great! Tonight's going to be lit!"  
"Hey, hey, hey! That's the spirit party boy!" Bokuto cheered.  
He too was probably becoming intoxicated like those two girls.  
"Are you drinking Kageyama-kun?"  
"Maybe, depends how I'm feeling later." He said in a blunt tone.  
"Are you going to drink, Hinata?" Yamaguchi asked. He wasn't drinking, he was probably too nervous to drink and end up caught by his parents.  
"I don't know to be honest. I might if it's as good as you guys say it is." Hinata laughed.  
"Well if you don't drink, there is always other things for you to try." Kuroo had a dark grin plastered on his face.  
"O-Other things...?"  
"You know, smoking weed, cigarettes, that stuff." Kuroo said as though it was obvious,  
"Or maybe you could fool around with the ladies-" Kuroo added  
"Or gents!" Bokuto interrupted.  
"You're into men Bokuto?" Yamaguchi asked.  
"Well he's got the hots for one guy in particular actually, so you don't need to worry about him." Kuroo chuckled.  
Bokuto glared at Kuroo as his face burned crimson.  
"Shut up you dick!"  
"Calm down bro, I was joking."  
"Nothing wrong with being homo." Tsukishima said, quickly glancing at Yamaguchi and then back to Bokuto.  
"Yeah." Kageyama added.  
The boys talked about volleyball, girls, things they've done and what they were planning on doing tonight, that was until a not so wanted guest arrived.

"Oh look if it isn't Shrimpy-chan and King of the Court!" Called a taunting voice from the door way of Nishinoya's house. _Oikawa._ Hinata mentally groaned the third year's name as he heard his pet name.  
"Yoo hoo, got any alcohol." Oikawa smiled. He smelt like the girls. He'd been drinking too.  
"Yeah but it's not like we'd give it to you." Kuroo spat.  
Iwaizumi hovered behind, saying brief greetings before following his idiotic friend to another area of Nishinoya's house.  
"I'm going to go get a drink, I'll be right back." Hinata said before leaving the others at the bonfire. When he got inside he found that they parties size had doubled since he got there. Nishinoya, Tanaka, Daichi, Sugawara, Lev, Yachi, Kiyoko and some other people that Hinata didn't know were playing a game.  
"What cha's up to?" Hinata asked.  
"Spin the bottle Yachi shrieked. _Oh god don't tell me she has been drinking too. Of all people I would of thought she was smart enough to not do that stuff!_  
"Come play with us Shortie!" Lev cheered.  
_It can't be that hard can it? All you have to do is kiss someone right?_  
"Sure." Hinata went and sat next to Yachi as they watched Kiyoko spin the bottle. It made various rotations before finally stopping on Yachi.  
"OOOOH LESBIAN KISS AYE!" Tanaka screeched. Nishinoya felt like screaming as he was next to Yachi and had come so close to finally getting a kiss from his crush. Yachi's face burned red while Kiyoko's was dusted with pink. Kiyoko crawled over to Yachi, sitting before her. Yachi would of been nervous as it was the first time the bottle had landed on her but due to her drinking quite a few alcoholic beverages, she couldn't quite comprehend what was happening. They both leaned foward as they closed their eyes and locked lips. It lasted three seconds before Yachi backed off.  
"YOU GET HER GIRL!" Someone hollered. It was Yachi's turn to spin the bottle. She gave it a good hit, causing it spin quickly, not letting anyone guess who would be locking lips with the girl. It halted, landing on the silver haired boy. His brown eyes glanced over to Daichi before looking back at Yachi.  
"Nice and quick?" Sugawara grinned.  
"Yep. Nice and quick."  
Yachi kneeled in front of Sugawara. He gently cupped her cheeks as he pecked her lips.  
"Like I said, nice and quick." Sugawara winked. Daichi was slightly annoyed that his boyfriend had been chosen to kiss someone else. Yachi wished it was a bit longer seeing as Sugawara was such an attractive teen. She sat back down next to Hinata, her cheeks dusted with pink due to her drinking and the fact that she just kissed two people. Sugawara spun the bottle watching it closely as it spun. It stopped on Daichi, his boyfriend. Daichi's face lit up as Sugawara went and sat before him.  
"I can't guarantee that this one will be so quick." He chuckled.  
"Oh I don't mind, not at all." Daichi smirked.  
"Oh get a room." Tsukishima muttered as he entered.  
"They're in one." Tanaka said in a smart ass tone.  
"Ha. Ha. You're hilarious Tanaka." Tsukishima groaned. Tsukishima walked over to the fridge that held the alcohol and soda. He reached in to retrieve the vodka, yet again. This time he had it straight. He grinned at the others as he sculled his drink.  
"Take it is easy Tsukishima. We don't want you gone too early." Nishinoya quipped.  
"I'll be right thanks." He spat before leaving the other party goers to continue Spin the Bottle. Daichi and Sugawara kissed a passionate kiss before parting.

"Well that was nice." Daichi smiled.  
Sugawara's face was a light pink colour due to his boyfriend's remark. A few more rounds were played, more kisses planted on lips and more stupid things said.

"HEY, HEY, HEY! WHAT YAHS UP TO?" Bokuto screeched.  
"SPIN THE BOTTLE!" Yachi cried out again. _She really has been drinking. Not even I, Hinata Shouyou, has had a drink at this party. I'm probably the only one too. It wouldn't hurt to have one right?_  
"LEEETSSSS PLAAAYYY NEVER HAVE I EVER!" Kuroo yelled.

_Is everyone drunk? We haven't even been here for that long...or have we? Hinata fumbled with his pocket as he reached for his phone. Where is it? He walked outside to the bonfire, listening to the cackles of all the drunken guests who were playing Never Have I Ever inside. He found Kageyama, Kenma, Yamaguchi, Tsukishima and some other people having a conversation about how they were planning their future jobs. Their job preferences seemed sensible and realistic, I'm glad they haven't drunk as much as the others, otherwise I would of known. I heard Kuroo screaching out something like he was going to become a stripper earlier._

"Have any of you guys seen my phone?"  
Yamaguchi picked it up and handed it to him. It had been lying on the ground near where he had been before. I'm glad that Kuroo and Bokuto didn't step on it in their intoxicated state. That might not of ended well.  
As Hinata picked up his phone it began to vibrate. A message from mum perhaps? She's probably worried and wants to know if I have decided.  
He swiped his index finger across the screen to reveal a hoard of messages and missed calls from his father.  
Hinata's eyes read over the message. Once. Twice. Three times.  
_No, no, no! No, no, no, no! This isn't true. It's not true. Dad's just trying to prank me or something. Yeah that's it. A prank. Nothing has happened. She is fine. She is safe._  
 _His phone buzzed again, another message appeared on his screen,_  
 _"Shouyou? Did you receive my message? You need to leave your party now and get home."_  
 _Oh god. Oh god. It's not a joke. This is real. Fuck. Fuckity fuck fuck fuck._

The phone fell from his trembling fingers and onto the ground, it's glass screen shattering with an ear piercing sound. Everyone stared at him.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *WARNING*  
> This chapter has self harm, so read at your own risk! (I'm sorry Hinata, I'm hurting my poor baby bird ugH)

_Every one's attention was now on the ginger._

_"Hinata? Why'd you drop your phone?" Yamaguchi frowned at him with concern._

_"What the hell dumbass do you know how much a phone costs?!" Kageyama scooped up Hinata's phone and went to hand it to him but Hinata's eyes widen and he jumped back in fear. He shook his head roughly before rushing through the bustling house and out onto the street. He ran. He ran without so much as a pause for breath, nor a break. He needed to get home. Now._

*******

3 weeks had passed since Hinata's disappearing act at Nishinoya's party. No one had heard a peep out of the usually loud boy. It was odd. It was strange. But most of all it was worrying. He had left the party without so much as a 'good bye'.

Kageyama was concerned for the small boy, not that he would ever admit it to anybody. Lately he had struggled Hinata out of his head. Volleyball practise was simply not the same without a certain energy filled spiker dashing and jumping about the court. He stared out the window as he watched steel coloured storm clouds roll over head. Every so often the sky would be set alight with electricity and a few moments later, it's echo would follow. Kageyama propped his chin onto his hand while his other hand absentmindedly tapped on his desk. Droplets of water trickeled down the glass pane, causing a steady, calming rhythm.

"-geyama? Kageyama!?"

Kageyama was abruptly snapped out of his thoughts as his name was called by his shodo teacher.

"S-Sensei?" Kageyama stuttered, caught off guard by the urgency in her voice.

"Kageyama, you spilt your ink!" 

Stifled giggles escaped the mouths of his amused peers. Kageyama's face flushed with embarrassment ( most people would of assumed it was that colour due to anger but Kageyama was embarrassed because he could not get Hinata out of his head) as he desperately made an attempt to clean his work and himself up.

*******

The cool blade pressed against his upper thigh.

_'Should I do it?'_

Another streak of lightning exploded across the gloomy sky, causing the small boy to jump.

_'It's only a cut, calm down dumbass.'_

At that thought, images of a familiar setter flickered through his mind.

_'Stupid Shouyou! Just hurry up and do it!'_

He applied more pressure, this time he succeeded in breaking through his pale skin. Crimson liquid seeped out of his freshly self inflicted wound. Hinata hadn't left his room for two days now. He neglected his need for food and water for the cocoon he had created with his blankets. His father and Natsu had tried to coax him out but he wouldn't be tempted so easily. Hinata didn't want to see the two right now. It was too painful. Certainly more so than the pain he was feeling due to the knife that was being tightly gripped in his small hands right now. If we were to go out now he would only see  _her_. Her bed. Her kitchen. Her clothes. Her belongings. Her  _face_. And no not her actual face, her funeral had been held three days ago. No, if he saw Natsu or his father he would only see her. 

Hinata pressed the blade to his flesh for the second time. He dragged it through, the pain seemed to be slightly more bearable now. 

_'At least if I go back no one will be able to see the scars.'_

He repeated this action over and over until he had nothing left to destroy that could still be hidden by his volleyball shorts. Hinata's knife was his brush, his skin a canvas and his hands an artist. All he had to do was combine them to wreak havoc on himself. His previously cream coloured sheets were now stained with a deep red. The metallic smell was obvious now. He had to get cleaned up. He wasn't aware of the time and the sky wasn't as much of an indicator as it usually words of been. He placed a wary hand on the handle of his door and slowly opened it. Nothing stirred. There was no television rambling on about some celebrity. No laughter coming from Natsu's bedroom. No nothing. He crept out and made his way to the shower. His house wasn't like a most traditional homes. It was western styled with a shower and no squat toilets. He went inside the bathroom and quickly closed the door behind himself. He sighed a breath of relief as it clicked signally that it was sufficiently locked. He slid his grimy shirt off and did the same to his pants and underwear, leaving them on the tiled floor as he stepped into the shower. He twisted the dial and stuck his hand out into the spray to figure out a suitable temperature for him to remove all evidence that he had been bleeding. Blood continued to trickle down legs as he waited for the temperature to become something favourable. Growing impatient, he decided to just get under the water. Bad idea.

The water scolded him. But that was the least of his worries. He cried out in pain as the hot water seeked out his cuts. It stung terribly causing him to leap back from the attack with a wince. His sudden movement made him slip and land on his back with a thud. Hinata simply stared up at the bland cream ceiling and sighed as the water rained down on him. His squeezed his eyes tightly shut as he felt tears begin to prick his chocolate eyes. _I miss you._ Hinata wasn’t entirely sure who his thought was directed at as he knew he was missing more people than just his deceased mother. His blood’s flow was slowing out of his wounds as it swirled with the water droplets and down the drain. Hinata tucked his knees up to his chest and heaved with every sob that racked his petite frame. _Life is fucked up._


	3. The End

I am no longer invested in this fan fiction. I started writing this last year when an idea popped into my head. At the time I was obsessed with Haikyuu!! and hadn't really joined any other fandoms. I used this as a chance to vent in a way as I seem to never be able to write anything happy, only depressing things. I myself have been diagnosed with anxiety(and no it's not self diagnosed by some quiz on the internet, it's diagnosed by a doctor and a counselor)  as well as other shit but ughhhh I no longer have any idea as to how I even want to continue this as I tend to do little to no planning when coming up with fan fiction ideas. I really appreciate all the comments, kudos and hits this received but I do not want to continue this any further. My main focus as of right now is school because I feel like I am falling behind/ my grades are dropping from 90% down to 80% and even 70% which I find upsetting for me. And please don't go comparing yourself to me and saying things like 'you're doing fine' because I don't feel like I am. I feel sick just thinking about school because I am drowning in assignments that are incomplete and it freaks me out. My main fandom as of now is the snk fandom which I have been in since around the start of this year. I have been writing fan fictions for that instead of this because I am no longer as interested as I used to be. This is all a mess but I just needed to get something, anything out, to make me feel better. So I guess this is goodbye to Shattered for now. I love you all, so stay safe and happy <3

 

 

Maybe even hmu up on Tumblr or Instagram

IG: @oekakiuma @ash.mare @kossleit (Yes I have a lot of accounts okay)

T: @oekakiuma @ereri-is-my-aesthetic

 

 

 

 

Bye lovelies 


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